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新2代理网站I LIKE that. We have not all had the good fortune to be ladies. We have not all been generals, or poets, or statesmen; but when the toast works down to the babies, we stand on common ground. It is a shame that for a thousand years the world’s banquets have utterly ignored the baby, as if he didn’t amount to anything. If you will stop and think a minute -- if you will go back fifty or one hundred years to your early married life and recontemplate your first baby -- you will remember that he amounted to a good deal, and even something over.

新2代理网站“為嬰兒祝酒!”真是妙不可言。 我們并非都能有幸做過女人;我們也并非都做過將軍、詩人或政治家。但是,輪到為嬰兒祝酒,我們就有了共同點──因為我們都做過嬰兒(笑聲)。幾千年來,世界各地在舉行宴會時竟完全忽視了嬰兒,好像嬰兒一點也不重要。這太不像話!先生們,如果各位靜思片刻──如果各位回到50年或100年前,回到婚后不久的歲月,并再度凝視你們的第一個小寶貝──各位就會記起他非常重要,而且豈止是重要(笑聲)。

新2代理网站You soldiers all know that when that little fellow arrived at family headquarters you had to hand in your resignation. He took entire command. You became his lackey, his mere body-servant, and you had to stand around too. He was not a commander who made allowances for time, distance, weather, or anything else. You had to execute his order whether it was possible or not. And there was only one form of marching in his manual of tactics, and that was the double-quick. He treated you with every sort of insolence and disrespect, and the bravest of you didn’t dare to say a word. You could face the death-storm at Donelson and Vicksburg, and give back blow for blow; but when he clawed your whiskers, and pulled your hair, and twisted your nose, you had to take it. When the thunders of war were sounding in your ears you set your faces toward the batteries, and advanced with steady tread; but when he turned on the terrors of his war-whoop, you advanced in the other direction, and mighty glad of the chance, too. When he called for soothing syrup, did you venture to throw out any side-remarks about certain services being unbecoming an officer and a gentleman? No. You got up and got it. When he ordered his pap bottle and it was not warm, did you talk back? Not you. You went to work and warmed it. You even descended so far in your menial office as to take a suck at that warm, insipid stuff yourself, to see if it was right -- three parts water to one of milk, a touch of sugar to modify the colic, and a drop of peppermint to kill those immortal hiccoughs. I can taste that stuff yet.

你們軍人都知道,當那個小家伙來到你家的大本營,你就得遞交辭呈。他掌管了全部指揮權。你成了他的隨從,他的保鏢。你還得侍奉左右,恭候吩咐。他這個司令官不考慮時間早晚,距離遠近,天氣好壞,或其他任何情況。不管有無可能,你都得執行命令。而且,他的戰術教程只有一種行軍方式,那就是跑步(笑聲)。他對你百般蠻橫,百般無禮,而你就算渾身是膽,也不敢吭聲。你可以面對多納爾森和維克斯堡的死亡風暴奮勇反擊(指美國內戰期間,格蘭特指揮的軍團在多納爾森和維克斯堡兩地大敗南軍);但是,當他抓你的胡子,扯你的頭發,擰你的鼻子,你卻不得不忍氣吞聲(笑聲)。當戰爭的雷聲在你的耳際響起,你迎著炮火迅猛前進;但是,當他像印第安人那樣開始發出令人恐怖的戰斗呼喊(笑聲),你卻大踏步地后撤,而且你還很高興有這樣的機會。當他嚷著要喝止咳糖漿,你敢脫口說出自己的意見嗎?你敢說有些服務項目不適合一位軍官和紳士嗎?不,你會起身去拿糖漿!如果他吩咐你去拿奶瓶,但瓶里的奶不熱,你會頂嘴嗎?不,你會行動起來,你會去把奶熱一下!你在“仆人工作室”里竟然如此屈尊俯就,以至于親口嘗嘗那不冷不熱的玩意兒,看看是否正好!嗯──3份水,1份奶,加一點糖來減輕“肚子疼”,再加一滴薄荷油來防止那頑固的呃逆。我至今還記得那玩意兒的滋味!(哄堂大笑)

And how many things you learned as you went along! Sentimental young folks still take stock in that beautiful saying that when a baby smiles in his sleep, it is because the angels are whispering to him. Very pretty, but too thin -- simply wind on the stomach, my friends. If the baby proposed to take a walk at his usual hour, two o’clock in the morning, didn’t you rise up promptly and remark, with a mental addition which would not improve a Sunday-school book much, that that was the very thing you were about to propose yourself? Oh! you were under good discipline, and as you went fluttering up and down the room in your undress uniform, you not only prattled undignified baby talk, but even tuned up your martial voices and tried to sing! -- Rock-a-by Baby in the Tree-top, for instance. What a spectacle for an Army of the Tennessee! And what an affliction for the neighbors, too; for it is not everybody within a mile around that likes military music at three in the morning. And when you had been keeping this sort of thing up two or three hours, and your little velvet-head intimated that nothing suited him like exercise and noise, what did you do? You simply went on until you dropped in the last ditch.

你這樣下去學會了多少東西喲!多情的年輕人仍然篤信一個古老的傳說:嬰兒如果在睡夢中微笑,是因為天使在對他講悄悄話。太美了,但是太不可信了──那只是腸胃發出的嘀咕聲而已,朋友們(笑聲)。如果你的小寶貝提議在老時間,即在凌晨兩點半散步,你難道不立即起身,并說你正想提議這樣做嗎?哦,你是訓練有素的!你穿著“便服”(笑聲),懷抱寶寶,在房間里來來回回踱步;你不顧尊嚴地、咿咿呀呀地信口胡扯;你甚至還亮出軍人的嗓門,努力唱上一曲“寶寶乖——寶寶睡——”。田納西軍團真是出足洋相了!而鄰居也真是苦惱透了!因為在一英里之內,并非人人都喜歡在凌晨3點欣賞軍樂(笑聲)。你這樣持續了兩三個小時,而你的茸頭小上司卻示意,操練和歌聲對他再合適不過,并建議在這條戰線上打到底,即使要打一個整夜——繼續戰斗吧!你怎么辦?你只能繼續戰斗,直到筋疲力盡倒下為止(笑聲)。

新2代理网站The idea that a baby doesn’t amount to anything! Why, one baby is just a house and a front yard by itself. One baby can furnish more business than you and your whole Interior Department can attend to. He is enterprising, irrepressible, brimful of lawless activities. Do what you please, you can’t make him stay on the reservation. Sufficient unto the day is one baby. As long as you are in your right mind, don’t you ever pray for twins. Twins amount to a permanent riot. And there ain’t any real difference between triplets and an insurrection.

新2代理网站我喜歡“嬰兒一點也不重要”的想法!為什么?因為一個嬰兒只會把整幢房子都占為己有,并搞得一團糟;一個嬰兒就會使你和你的內務部忙個不停;他勇于進取,難以控制,往往目無法紀;無論你采取什么手段,都無法使他恪守常規。一個孩子就夠你受的了。如果你還有理智,千萬不要祈求生雙胞胎。雙胞胎意味著騷亂不已,而三胞胎無異于造反(笑聲)。

新2代理网站Yes, it was high time for a toast-master to recognize the importance of the babies. Think what is in store for the present crop! Fifty years from now we shall all be dead, I trust, and then this flag, if it still survive (and let us hope it may), will be floating over a Republic numbering 200,000,000 souls, according to the settled laws of our increase. Our present schooner of State will have grown into a political leviathan -- a Great Eastern. The cradled babies of today will be on deck. Let them be well trained, for we are going to leave a big contract on their hands.

是的,現在是敬酒高手認識到嬰兒重要性的時候了。想一下現在這些搖籃里的祖國花朵有多么不可限量的未來!我相信,五十年后,在座的我們都已不在。如果這面國旗如我們所愿還依然矗立不倒,那么到時這面國旗將會漂浮在兩億人口的美利堅共和國上空(根據我們現有的人口增長率)。我們如今舉杯祝福的美利堅合眾國將成長為一個政治大國 -—— 一個偉大的東方。今天尚在搖籃的嬰兒將在甲板上保家衛國。要讓他們訓練有素,因為我們要親手讓他們接力一份關于美國的重要合同。

新2代理网站Among the three or four millions cradles now rocking in the land are some which this nation would preserve for ages as sacred things, if we could know which ones they are. In one of those cradles the unconscious Farragut of the future is at this moment teething -- think of it! -- and putting in a world of dead earnest, unarticulated, but perfectly justifiable profanity over it, too. In another the future renowned astronomer is blinking at the shining Milky Way with but a languid interest -- poor little chap! -- and wondering what has become of that other one they call the wet-nurse. In another the future great historian is lying -- and doubtless will continue to lie until his earthly mission is ended. In another the future President is busying himself with no profounder problem of state than what the mischief has become of his hair so early; and in a mighty array of other cradles there are now some 60,000 future office-seekers, getting ready to furnish him with occasion to grapple with that same old problem a second time. And in still one more cradle, somewhere under the flag, the future illustrious commander-in-chief of the American armies is so little burdened with his approaching grandeurs and responsibilities as to be giving his whole strategic mind at this moment to trying to find out some way to get his big toe into his mouth -- an achievement which, meaning no disrespect, the illustrious guest of this evening turned his entire attention to some fifty-six years ago; and if the child is but a prophecy of the man, there are mighty few who will doubt they he succeeded .

新2代理网站現在,在全國三四百萬個搖籃中,有幾個搖籃將被我國視為神圣的文物而世世代代地保存起來──如果我們知道是哪幾個的話。因為在其中一個搖籃中,一位迷迷糊糊的未來的法拉格特(美國海軍上將,在美國內戰中立下顯赫戰功)此時正在出牙──各位想一想出牙時的情景吧──他還非常熱切地咕噥了一句什么,雖然口齒不清,但是情有可原;在另一個搖籃里,未來的大史學家正躺在那兒,無疑要躺到這平凡的使命完成為止;在還有一個搖籃里,未來的總統并不在為國家大事而操勞,卻在為頭發這么早出了問題而煩神(笑聲);在一長列其他搖籃里,大約有6000名謀求官職者,現在正準備再向這位未來的總統提供解決這一老問題的機會!在美國國旗下的某地還有一個搖籃,里面躺著未來的總司令,他此刻并不在為將來的威嚴和責任犯愁,而是開動著他的全部戰略頭腦,想方設法把大腳趾伸進嘴里──這并非對今晚顯赫的貴賓有何不敬,而是說,56年前他也曾把注意力放在這件大事上!如果說從小看到大,三歲看到老,那么,只有極少數人才會懷疑他取得了成功。(笑聲、經久不息)